his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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