omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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