im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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