I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
