it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
