And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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