he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
