this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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