thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
