Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
