Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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