I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
