I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
