so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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