I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
