Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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