Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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