Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
