Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
