We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
