I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
