I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I understand Curling. That high.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
MIDGETS
????
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
