my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
