me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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