HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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