Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just threw up on my dentist
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize