First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
