is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I deserve this hangover.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
