He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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