A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
