You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
