Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
