Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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