Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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