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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
did you just send me my own nude
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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