Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When are your genitals available?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
