yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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