You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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