But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think i have herpe
just one?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize