well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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