Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
