just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
