i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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