I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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