There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
