the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
