ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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