Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize