all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
