I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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