That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
