Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
