Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
