The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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