the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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