she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
