Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
